The past year has been a tough one for me. I’ve had highs and lows that have sculpted me into a man who I would not have recognized months before. I did one of the best things in my life and possibly one of the most dangerous: I asked God for something.
Until recently, I’ve been desperately searching for a sense of meaning while loneliness, hopelessness, and restlessness swallowed me whole. Sickness moved in as I began losing confidence in myself and the world around me. I lost my ability to interact with others as people have been become more apathetic and the notion of the United States is changing under my feet.
He said, “Your different and special in every way imaginable. I want you Christina, I want ALL of you not just
bit and pieces like you give everyone else.”
My stomach DROPPED…I sat in silence.
What is your purpose in life?
Can you envision yourself there?
How bad do you want that dream?
Are you willing to makesacrifices?
What are your short/long term goals?
What are you doing on a daily basis to get there?
I’ve been very transparent about my struggles on here. I even admitted that my posting schedule has dropped significantly because of these struggles. Yesterday, I was talking with a mentee about love, life, and everything in between. God and the concept of prayer came up. While encouraging him through my weakest moments, something I told him resonated with me. Continue reading “Pray WITHOUT ceasing”
I’ve been hearing the same sentiments over and over. Online or in person, people have a bad taste in their mouths about Christianity. Why? Because the “Pastors are pimps. “Congregation is judgmental.” and “no one is Christ-like anymore”.
It feels good to be back and I am so excited for the changes that should be happening in the future for Everything’s Magnificent. I plan to be back on my daily writing plan and all is right in the world as I head towards my final year as a graduate student at UNC. On the personal side, I’ve accomplished one of my personal life goals. I’ve finished reading the Bible from Genesis to Revelations.
This weekend I spent a lot of time just existing. It’s good to take some time off of writing to recharge the battery and refill the heart. In the midst of that, I found myself hurting. The more stories I read of misfortune, the more my heart hurts. I really question shouldn’t every Christian feel the same?
A few months ago, I wrote a Letter to My Son, a lot of it was about how to be a healthy man, devoid of toxic masculinity, highlighting some of the most important lessons I’ve learned. Today, I write this one to him when he gets older. P.S. You can check my letters to my daughter and black women here.
Following the full acquittal of countless officers killing unarmed, innocent, or mentally ill Black people nationwide visibly for the last few years, I tend to go through emotional phases. Sometimes I am angry, dejected, depressed, contemplative, confused, frustrated, and even moved to action. However, since I’ve been getting deeper into my Bible, I’ve struggled with something.