I’m smart. I read well. I can do math at a high level. I’m talented in multiple fields of art, music, and communication. I understand conceptual problems with relative ease and enjoy good philosophical exercises. However, paperwork, emails, and essays give me anxiety. Missed text messages and interpersonal conflict can keep my mind tied up for hours. I’m a very high achiever, but I feel like I end up near success by accident. I have High Functioning ADHD.
Still water, untouched and unmoved, almost appearing as glass, reaching far beyond the horizon into the unknown. Clear blue skies enable you to see the shore and the wind feels good on your skin. Everything is perfect as you sail out to parts unknown. You can still close your eyes and envision the crowd of loved ones cheering you on as you set out for another quest. Life is good, until it isn’t.
When people talk about ADHD, they think about the kid that can’t sit still in class. They think about the boys that get into trouble all the time. Or the girl that can’t stop talking a mile a minute. Well, Tuesday it was confirmed that I do have ADHD Inattentive type and the best thing I can describe it as is my mind being a puppy playing in the snow. Continue reading “My Diagnosis: Inattentive Type (Cocoon)”
Packing my suitcases was the most extremely stressful part of this experience. Time was escaping me and I grew frantic trying to think of everything I had to do. My blue suitcase contained my valuables: Passport, Social Security Card, My mother’s gold necklace, pictures of me as a child and of my family, and my Xbox of course!
(You can check out part one here)
I’ve written multiple times about my struggles with Mental Health. I’ve talked about Depression multiple times over, Anxiety, ADHD, Medication, and Social Media Addiction. I’m going into another phase of the process. Getting essential help.
When dealing with mental health, it’s difficult on navigating what is right and what is wrong to do. Is the issue something situational? Is the issue chemical? Is it something that can be modified by behavior? Do you have to use a combination of all of them? Yes. The answer is yes. Continue reading “Medication Hesitation”
As a moment of clarity, I’m mentally struggling right now. I’ve hit a wall all semester about self-worth, anxiety, motivation, depression, self-care, writer’s block, fear, and everything else. I’m blessed beyond belief to be at an amazing school like Chapel Hill in amazing programs, but I can’t help but feel lost, unprepared, and weak.
If you haven’t picked up a theme for this year; I have talked my ADHD, personal doubts, creativity blocks, nontraditional addictions, bloodline curses, and Depression multiple times. The moral of the story is that emotional and mental care matters. I was amazed to find that my posts on my mental peculiarities seem to help my readers the most. Today, I’ll speak on my last major mental barrier that has made me who I am, Anxiety! *birthday streamer sound*
It’s a puzzling conundrum when your livelihood and passion collide. We fantasize about getting paid boatloads of money for talents but never think about what makes it a passion. What happens when you take away the fluidity, spontaneity, and freedom from a hobby? What do you do knowing that you have to be creative or else the bills won’t get paid?
As a follow-up to yesterday’s post talking about depression and the struggles I went through, I wanted to talk about my healing process. It all started with self. Continue reading “Finding the Balance”