This past week was a rough one. While I am so happy from the positive responses I received from the Season Two premiere of Saved AND Woke – Season 2 Episode 1: Meeting of the Misters, I was struggling with allowing myself to be creative.
In the beginning, God created heaven and earth.
God is a creative.
The older I get, the more I feel drawn to different facets of myself. There is a part of me that hungers for order and understanding. I am logical, strategic, and can easily perceive complex systems and concepts. I don’t always want to put things in order myself, but to explain, ease difficulty, and to make clear for those without sight.
Alongside order, I have a desire to create. To make something out of nothing that allows me to communicate things that I comprehend is a puzzle I enjoy working on. The mixture of these two desires gives me a hunger to experience, see, and relate things back to others.
After so many years, I’ve finally started to accept my creative spirit again. I thought I had to abandon it to be successful in academia but I realized that’s false. I have learned that the process of creation and expression are mandatory for my happiness. I love making art. I love feeling a spark in my soul and finding unique ways to get it out. I love this freeing self-expression yet, somewhere in the process, I find myself snagged too.
I am sometimes continuously caught in a net of perfectionism, a personal defiance of time, and too much going in my head.
I want to write and make music.
My Amazon wish list is a mile long worth of books.
I want to write poetry.
I want to write books describing the world from my eyes.
I want to shoot videos.
Pictures have become a way for me to observe the world without losing the moment.
I want to see life and capture it. Then share it with others.
I want to do so many things but frustration washes over me from not knowing which skill set will take precedent and how it’s going to manifest. I create so that my sharing makes other people not feel as alone. But, I often get stuck in that process. I freeze because I am overwhelmed with the possibilities. I don’t go all in because I am worried about perfection.
This blog is an example of that battle. I can write something everyday and still not feel happy or comfortable, while readers enjoy each word. This tells me that I’m my own worse critic and it’s time to move out of my own way. Time to push through this discomfort and just create. If we are ALL made in God’s image, I have unlimited, wonderful, and peculiar creations just waiting to have life breathed into them. Start Now.
What’s your favorite way of channeling creativity? What’s something you wish you would did but haven’t? Please leave in the comments below.
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Turn Your Brightness Up!