I’ve written multiple times about my struggles with Mental Health. I’ve talked about Depression multiple times over, Anxiety, ADHD, Medication, and Social Media Addiction. I’m going into another phase of the process. Getting essential help.
A few months ago I completely broke down. Mentally I couldn’t take it anymore and collapsed under the pressure. I couldn’t finishing my projects, classes became triggers, and I was a bundle of unknown emotions. I’ve dealt with it before, but this is take three. This time, I want to conquer it for good.
In April, I started taking medication again. I had strange side effects of racing mind, tingling fingers, and overall sleeplessness for a month. I eventually balanced out for the most part but because of my financial barriers, I couldn’t continue getting adjusted and seeking the help I needed over the summer.
Fast forward to August, Financial Aid has come through and I use this as a chance to handle my essentials so I can focus. I went to the Learning Center, to see if I could talk to an ADHD Learning Specialist. She helped me grab the bull by the horns and schedule an appointment with a psychiatrist to evaluate my mental state for a diagnosis. At the same time, I scheduled a meeting with a therapist in the community that deals primarily with anxiety. I started getting help.
Around the same time, my advisor pulled me aside to talk to me about finishing the work I couldn’t in the fall. It wasn’t antagonistic but comforting to see someone care and relate. I didn’t feel alone with this mountain that was ahead of me. I just had to keep moving forward and not lose focus.
Losing focus is hard for something that might have inattentive type ADHD. When I get bored or distracted, I lose track of life. When I keep everything to myself or in my head, I get overwhelmed, frustrated, and anxious. I am so tired of struggling through this whole process that I seriously want to know that something either is, or isn’t wrong, so I can know I’m not making it up, just lazy, or falling out of touch with reality.
My psychiatrist diagnosis lasted three days for a total of eight hours. It was filled with attention and memory games, intuition tests, math, reading comprehension, reaction measurements, and just overall asking me about trauma and life. I didn’t realize how much I had survived until I left it all on the table. I didn’t know the scars that we left from the battles I don’t even remember. In the midst of all this testing and meeting all these people, I received amazing news.
WHEN I complete all of the tests and assignments left over from last semester and complete this semester, I will only need three classes to graduate on time in May. That’s huge! I almost lost faith in my success. I started to feel like my struggles with mental health have stopped my progress in life and I might not have gotten another chance. But, I am here to tell you, if you are struggling with ANY form of mental health, reach out and ask for help. Look for services that can guide you in a new direction. It is worth the effort and it is NEVER too late.
I now have a finish line to make it towards. I cannot and will not rest until I make it. No matter what stumbling blocks are placed before you. You can make it to the other side. Ask for help!
Turn Your Brightness Up!