Today was a weird day. I woke up hurting but happy it was Sunday. I wished Twitter a Happy Resurrection Sunday and was met with some unusual resistance. This interaction devolved into me defending why I am a Christian after the history of using Christianity to enslave and subvert my people. Why did I choose my faith?
It felt like home. I spent many years avoiding the church. It was always long and arduous to sit services when I was a kid. I would try to use the money my grandmother gave me to buy Atomic Warheads and Sour Straws from the vending machine in the basement. I would spend the entire service dreaming, rearranging images in my head of the world the Bishop was talking about but never really getting the Word.
I wasn’t baptized until I was 20 years old. Around that time, all I understood was the need for protection, for comfort. I few home in late April, to a church that I hadn’t seen since seven years prior, to reconnect with God. I felt I needed Him for the challenges ahead.
Months later, I claimed I didn’t feel different until I was burning up inside on a November night. I writhed in pain, calling out for help, nothing helped. All of a sudden, I felt hand of God rest on me. He pushed me all the way to the ground, as if to say, “this is the weight of the world you are trying to carry, can you truly do it without me?” and “Do you believe you alone are strong enough?” I couldn’t even move, let alone stand. I was laying on the floor, powerless, unable to control anything in my life, even myself.
He finally released me and I felt amazing. The burden was lifted and the world seemed different. This was the first time I ever spoken in tongues (personal prayer language between yourself, the Holy Spirit, and God) and it felt like my battery was recharged. I finally understood why we need God in our lives, He already lifts our burden, it is up to us to accept Him in my life to make the other things easier.
When I choose Christ that day. I decided to let go of the tight grip I had on my life. I decided to trust Him and discover who He was. I have studied many different religions and came up to Christianity being the best for me. Partially, it’s because it is in my Blood. My great-grandfather was a minister and I was raised in the church. But, even more than that, I made this decision for me. I got tired of lifting so much weight myself.
On that day, more than nine years ago, God wanted me to understand how much His grace mattered in my life. Since then, I completely bottomed out and eventually a miracle got me back into action. Story after story of how I messed things up and His blessings brought me back. God as found a way to continuously bring me back from the worse positions possible: failing out of classes, immense debt, poor relationship choices, legal problems, car accidents, and so many other things where all He wanted me to do is stop doing it on my own and trust in His way.
Today celebrated the Resurrection of Jesus Christ and inherently the resurrection of me. I would have died many times and would have a meaningless life without Him. He brought me back from that dark place and could easily do it again. So, when I was asked about the fact that Christianity was given to me by my slave masters, I reply, “He who the son sets free is free indeed.” Where the knowledge came from is unimportant.
Any personal resurrection stories you’d like to share? Any great Easter Stories?Church Tales? Leave some thoughts in the comments below!