The Secret, I Declare, The Laws of Thinking and many other books have been penned with a common theme of thinking positively to bring about positive results. Finally, popular American authors have caught something children everywhere have known since the 1930s.
However slow the learning curve truly is, positive thinking has its benefits. The concept behind “faking it until you make it” has scientific proof. Assuming a dominant posture for five minutes makes you feel more comfortable, assured and focused. The bible touches on the power if the tongue multiple times. You can read about speaking life, not death and inviting certain things into your life over and over. But, my point of this entry is not to convince you into thinking positive but to talk about results.
As a Little Magnificent, even before I started thinking about myself in that manner. I was plagued with self-doubt. I had no understanding of self-worth and even though I didn’t show it, it wrecked havoc on my life. Back in my hometown of Detroit, intelligence was frowned upon. I was made fun of often for “talking white” or whatever other negative statement kids could think of back then. I even remember being ashamed of wearing glasses when now all the “cool” kids are buying fake costume lens.
Eventually, I stopped trying. I didn’t study anymore until the point where I couldn’t study anymore. By junior year in college, my sense of self-worth was so low that I ran out of gas. I was depressed, lost and had no one to look to for help. I left school and worked in restaurants for the next two years. Minimum wage definitely wasn’t the way I wanted to live my life. I was working the same job as people with twenty years of life experience over me, taking home the same paycheck. Read over that last sentence again…that was my turning point.
I had a deep seeded desire that made the redundant and fruitless living I was experiencing painful to me. It didn’t make sense for me to see people who are supposed to be my elders treated like drones. I didn’t want that for myself. But, I didn’t know why I didn’t want that for myself. I know that may seem stupid to think. But, have you ever thought, “Why do believe I am better than being a janitor or garbage man?” (No shade to those who are in those positions because I heard they pay well but I don’t want my contributions to the world to be undone after Thirsty Thursday.)
I realized that my fall had helped me want to search for my passion in life.
To have a passion is a very egotistical concept. “I believe that I have something that only I can do for this world.” The thought alone has levels of self-worth, importance and value embedded in it. So, for me to believe I have a passion, I had to start to look at myself and think, “there must be something special about my sexy self”.
Day after day I would look in the mirror and find myself unhappy with what I was and where I was in life. I got back into school to finish the journey I started, but it wasn’t until I got closer to graduation that positive thinking started to sink in. I kept telling myself, I am worth it, I am great, I am somebody. But, why?
Why? Literally because I said so. That motivation, that burning fire for me to discover who I am destined to be was enough to keep me going. It is that question that sometimes what keeps me up at night but also wakes me up in the morning. I hope I can be great becomes I think I can be great, which becomes I can be great, which becomes I will and I am great. Believing in that greatness and creating that worth is what draws others near you. They want your secret. They want that power that lies in your eyes knowing that you are special. They want to be special too and they are. Sometimes it just takes someone to unlock it.
I will not act like was 100% me that helped me out of the tough times in my life. It was many people, relative strangers that came along to inspire me. They saw the struggle and whether it was a positive word, dollar or opportunity, it helped build my understanding of self-worth. However, the word is self-worth. You may get all the aid in the world but it’s up to you to internalize it and keep it as your own. You are special.
Peace, Passion, Love and
Mr. Magnificent Miles
Posted in: Writings